Mental Health & Some Helps

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Re: Mental Health & Some Helps

Postby shireling » Tue Oct 06, 2015 11:27 pm

Oh geeze - I don't know where to start...

About six weeks ago, Duane had an increase in his one prescription - from 200 to 300 mg. And over the following month, he seemed to gradually escalate. Getting really angry, just blowing up at nothing, and he was saying that it was nothing, and wondering himself why he was getting so upset? He wasn't sleeping, and neither was I because he was awake so late - and by the time he went to bed, he made so much noise that he woke me up, even with earplugs and the electric fan on high just a couple of feet from my bed.

On the morning of the 25th of September, just around 1 AM, he wakes me up and tells me to go and read what he's typed on the computer - he can't speak well enough to tell me. So I do, and it reads "I can't function I can't function I can't function...I'm confused and I can't function. Should I wake up Sara? Can she help? What if she can't?"...just on and on like that. He wants to go to the hospital, so we get dressed (I have him print out what he wrote to take with us.)

It was hard. They kept asking him what was going on - didn't want input from me, even though he insisted on it - and finally they gave him a shot of benedryl. That helped him doze off, even though he kept waking every hour or so, and insisting that we go home - before he'd fade out again. Since there was a barium swallow test in the morning (it was another attempt to get to the bottom of his cough and I was afraid to take him home, what with our stairs and all - what if he fell with all those meds in him?), I begged that we keep him there until after radiation.

So, we were there from around 1:30 to almost 10:45 AM. But, he didn't get what he needed from that visit, and once the benedryl wore off, the escalation picked up where it left off. Come this past Tuesday afternoon - the 29th - he was screaming and acting out in the psychiatrist's office. Now, on the one hand, I was glad, because somebody else - in fact, a dozen somebody else's - saw what I'd been seeing for the past several days. The bad news is that they saw it as 'homicidal ideation' (he kept insisting on seeing me, and they wouldn't let me go back to him, no matter that he didn't want to hurt me); the good news is that they wanted to admit him, and get him stabilized on the meds. By then, I was so wiped out that I just wanted to go home and go to bed, so I didn't see him until the next day.

It was good for me because I needed the time off. I cleaned, and vacuumed like mad (yes! we got one at last - a Bissel-make that is just like my old Oreck.) I washed eight loads of clothes, and shredded about a ream of paper. The place looked wonderful, and the cat and I caroused with pizza, until we collapsed, snoring like grizzlies. It was just what I needed, seventy-two hours of husbandless-bliss. Still, I went to the hospital and visited him each day, only coming in late on Friday when I found out what hour he was to be discharged.

He's doing incredibly well now; the seroquel was very bad for him. Nobody's at fault. He just had a bad reaction to it. But I wish *sigh* the system did a better job of treating psychiatric issues. Truth is the first casualty in a psychiatric admission. A broken leg is just that, on the other side. But if you're angry for no apparent reason, then you're obviously homicidal; should you be depressed, then you're suicidal - even if you aren't; why can't you just be very sad, or terrifically mad? Why lie about it? Or is that how the insurance companies code stuff?

Anyway, he's better, I'm better. I'm sorry I was out for so long. Every single day, I've had appointments to take him to (there's two tomorrow - feet and psych - and then one again with the GP on Friday.) I still need to get him in to see the dentist once more, and scheduling with them's been like pulling teeth.

Btw, the GP put me on a mild anti-anxiety (he said I looked about to jump out of my skin - was probably not too off, at that.) And that was back on 9/23 - which probably helped me to cope with all this since. So, that's it for now. Thanks, Paddy, for helping - I really appreciate it :hug: .

sara
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Re: Mental Health & Some Helps

Postby Padfoot » Wed Oct 07, 2015 12:29 pm

I have no words.. :hug: :hug: :ghug:
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Re: Mental Health & Some Helps

Postby shireling » Thu Oct 08, 2015 10:55 am

*HUG* back at you!

Well, yesterday, we found out that the Honey is now a permanent patient of Dr. S_ , if we want it - which, of course, we do! Crisis Care is temporary, but because he's a Medicare patient (and mental health specialists, across THEE board, are not taking Medicare patients :roll:), these folks have stepped up and are literally saving our bacon. We'll get billed from them for whatever isn't covered, which is just what should be done - got absolutely no problem with that.

We went through intake again (because he now has appointments on another floor, so it's got a completely different protocol), even though he is still with the same doctor. There may be a slight hiccup with his therapist (they may want him to switch to one of theirs), but I hope they don't - especially since this frees up their staff, and he's said how much he feels she's helped him, how he's been with her since early summer.

My only problem is that he keeps wanting to play around with the dosages of his meds, and I've told him that if he does, and if there's a problem, it'll be on his head. Don't tell me what you're doing and expect me to go along - it takes weeks, sometimes months - to build up levels in the system that actually help. And if you're going to halve a pill or skip it altogether, than how in the hell is anybody going to know what works? I mean, really! Anyway, it's going on 7 AM here, he's asleep, I'm still in my gym-dandys from treadmilling, and I've got Saint Francis Holiday crafting to go to and then Part Deux of Ruhi Book One...

Need meds myself (I'm an hour behind taking them :paperbag: ) and require Second Breakfast - which is essential (just thought of Pippin on the road to Lothlorien with just an apple - poor baby.)

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Re: Mental Health & Some Helps

Postby shireling » Sat Oct 10, 2015 11:18 am

To Whomever, wherever you are

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Re: Mental Health & Some Helps

Postby shireling » Wed Oct 21, 2015 9:11 pm

We have settled into an odd routine of three doctor appointments a week, since the beginning of the month.

They're all the Honey's, and they're helping so I don't mind. I'm worried though that his eyesight has taken a turn for the worst, that his prescription might have changed (Friday is the next time we go there; the eye doctor said to come back then.) But his sleep is better, his mood is much more even, and he's gotten his new mouth guard - though by the time we were able to pick it up, he'd managed to break one of the new fillings and he'll be going back to the dentist next week.

We saw the speech therapist last week, and he's been following the program she gave him (he'll seeing her for follow up next week, too.)

Meanwhile, my sister went up north to visit an old friend from school, and decided to stop by our aunt's...

She's 96 with Alzheimer's - this is my mom's eldest sister - and my cousin is locking her in the house while she goes to work (she's in her seventies, the youngest of three, and never married.) That's what I got told when Bev came home last Sunday. So, I call Adult Protective Services in the county where I grew up (that's where this is all goin' down), and tried to get somebody to go to the house to check on my aunt. Now my sister is upset that I did this - :wtf: Seriously? - because she doesn't want our cousin to get in trouble.

She's already in trouble! Our aunt is poorly cared for, left alone for 10-12 hours, malnourished, and doesn't know her own kids! She could fall down a flight of over a dozen stairs, the house could catch fire (though not from the stove, because the knobs have been removed), somebody could break in - what is matter with all of them?!?!? It's a house with the garage under the bedrooms, so when she's home, my cousin parks the car inside and nobody knows if she's there or not. My aunt won't answer the door - I guess there's no more land line in the house, or she won't answer the phone either...

There's another sister - she has leukemia and a 47-year-old son with severe mental health issues - and if there's anything that might be good about this in the short term, it's that she might be getting the help with him that she needs. Also, now that I've called and told Bev, maybe something will happen sooner. *sigh*

It just breaks my heart. My aunt is the oldest of five - Mom was the baby - and she has always been so house proud; she was always well-put together. Now her clothes are studded with food, her hair is matted and there's a clump missing in the back; she wanders alone in that empty house all day long...How could I ever face my mother if I did nothing, and I told Bev that! What the hell is she thinking?

She says she doesn't want anybody to get in trouble. Well, that horse has just crossed the Canadian border - we are way past that, though I don't think my cousin really realizes that her mother is incompetent, and I said as much to A.P.S. when I called. I've waited since Monday morning to hear back, and I haven't so I'm calling them again tomorrow...
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Re: Mental Health & Some Helps

Postby Padfoot » Thu Oct 22, 2015 5:32 am

You did the right thing!
Your cousin is in her 70s and still working? That's tough! It's not about getting your cousin into trouble, but she has to realize that it is too much for her to deal with, that she's not able to cope with it. It is tough, they even might get angry at you, but you did the right thing. :hug:
Did you hear back from A.P.S by now?
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Re: Mental Health & Some Helps

Postby shireling » Thu Oct 22, 2015 9:19 pm

Yes, and they said to call the police - who would break down the door if nobody answers. *sigh* I told all of this to Duane's therapist today, and she had no ideas, other than to drive the 3 and 1/2 hours to get there, and then what? By the time we got home from his appointment, A.P.S. is closed. So I will be calling them back at 7:30 tomorrow, and see what else we might do.

Right now, my next eldest cousin is terrified that her family will get in trouble for not taking their dog to the vet (I know nothing except that it died because they couldn't afford to take it in.) This is so ridiculous. Everybody's worried about everybody except this old lady.
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Re: Mental Health & Some Helps

Postby shireling » Sun Oct 25, 2015 12:00 pm

I don't believe in reincarnation. But if I did, I would want to come back as the only child of only children.

They (A.P.S.) told me they were going to send a social worker to the house. That's what they said. What they didn't say, was that if nobody answered the door, they were going to close off the road, and fill it with cops so that the social worker could visit.

My cousins are enraged - the one wants my phone number so that he can 'convince' me to 'recant' (my sister wouldn't give it to him, and insisted that he call her; I don't know if he did or not. At the time she told me this, he hadn't.) Later, I was told by the police department dispatcher that "Nobody is in trouble. They'll be getting help is all." And I've been told by people, not involved, that I did the right thing. Then why do I feel so miserable.

And why? Whywhywhywhywhy, do some people - in my experience, it's been family - assume that there's malice at the heart of something like this? I haven't see these people in - what? 30 years? And I would want to hurt them because? I said to A.P.S that my cousin doesn't realize that her mother is incompetent; you can get claustrophobic about a thing without a fresh pair of eyes. But, why all the SWATTINESS - the big police presence? Oh, and my youngest cousin, the one who lives with my aunt, is 64; I really thought they were all at least ten years older.

Is it 9/11 that created all this sturm and drang in our lives? I'm trying to remember, and it's fading fast, how people used to respond to problems. Detachment was one, but now it seems to me that everybody's got a hammer in search of a nail. They said a social worker, I remember very clearly - nothing else...

Anyway, no more saving the world on this front; you all heard it here first. Stick a fork in me and pass the steak sauce, I am done.
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Re: Mental Health & Some Helps

Postby shireling » Wed Nov 11, 2015 2:15 am

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I'm no chicken...
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Re: Mental Health & Some Helps

Postby shireling » Sun Jan 10, 2016 4:40 pm

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Carrie Fisher explains to a little boy what ‘bipolar’ means, at Indiana Comic Con 2015.


...*teary with pride*...
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Re: Mental Health & Some Helps

Postby shireling » Sat Jan 30, 2016 2:26 pm

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Re: Mental Health & Some Helps

Postby shireling » Sat Feb 20, 2016 10:17 pm

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Re: Mental Health & Some Helps

Postby shireling » Sat Mar 05, 2016 2:14 am

Went to visit my brother-in-law this past Tuesday.

Everything was fine, or so I thought. A mutual friend had stopped by to visit, bringing him gifts for Ayyam-i-Ha. We had a nice talk; she asked about the Parkinson's (she thought it had gotten worse since last I'd seen her some six-seven months back.) I told her that since then I'd seen another neurologist who agreed with the first two that this wasn't Parkinson's. I said, I think it's neuropathy - but I don't have a diagnosis.

We'd all met in the home's cafeteria, and decided to move from there to a more comfortable spot to give the staff their space to clear away lunch. Sue had brought some Writings and prayers, so we had a small devotion. It was so nice. After she left, we moved to Phil's room to watch Christopher Reeve in Superman (we'd all forgotten how good he was.) I'd brought along the monthly news letter and those mixed nuts that he loves, and after a hug goodbye, we left.

Two days later, I get a voice mail. "This is Phil...Stop changing the diagnosis...Thank you."

You know, the worst thing about this whole business, is not only not having a diagnosis for what's wrong with me, but having a mentally-ill relation who ruminates on the last conversation I had with them, and then calls to complain about how he remembers it. And there's nothing I can do about it. It doesn't matter that he's around the bend; I can't even call him out on it. If he leaves a message and I find it hours later, he may not even remember doing it. That's even worse because then he does have a legitimate gripe, and I come off as being unreasonable.

I've had people snub me - friends, people who've known me for years - because of something he's accused me of doing to him. Lloyd had done the same thing - may he rest in peace - and he'd tell the staff in the home he was in that I'd been stealing from him. I can't defend myself against them; they sound so reasonable when they do this, but it's all in their heads. I wouldn't ever hurt them, ever.

:cry: Duane did that from time to time also. But at least with his meds and therapy, I can't remember the last time it happened. What helped was that I could get on the phone with his counselor and tell her what was going on. She would then ask him to tell her what happened, and then could fix it like nobody I've ever seen. As a result, he can now work it out in his own mind and I think the last time we argued - I mean really had it out - was before Halloween. However, I've never been able to do that with his brothers - or his mom. O my God, that's another whole saga right there.

You know what's so funny? She didn't like me because I was 'Catholic'. Now mind you, I officially left the church when I was 19 (unofficially, it was right after I was confirmed at 14, and discovered that my folks had lied to me about not having to continue with confraternity classes and attending mass.) Duane's mom had real problem with the Church, and she never really said why. But I have since come to the conclusion that she resented the money the Roman Catholic parishes had.

The Perrys went back eleven generations in England (they were Puritans, originally, and landed here not long after the Mayflower); for the last nine patriarchs of that name, they've been Quaker ministers (right up to the present, so the Honey's a preacher's kid.) Their meeting houses and clergy were as poor as church mice, so to speak, by comparison to other churches. But they have a lot going for them that many other Christian denominations don't, like women pastors; they've always had women pastors, at least my in-laws bunch did. They aren't of the Evangelical branch, which always makes me think of Baptists.

It never mattered that I was Baha'i, like her sons - 'Once a Catholic, always a Catholic; Give me child to the age of seven and they are mine for life - Saint Augustine.' It's funny because that's what I keep hearing from the Franciscans too...and, as usual, I digress. I am not going to call Phil back. I am just going to ignore his rant this time, and the next time, and the time after that, and hope that somehow the real me shines through no matter what he says.

I know how it sounds, but I so want to outlive everybody - not Michael...I guess not Duane either...but I want me some normal again. I haven't had any for so long. I just want to be me and accepted for me, and not have this craziness. I wish I could talk to Duane's Aunt Verla again. She's like me, she's related by marriage, but she's had a very serious stroke and is living in a nursing home in Texas. The few times we did meet it was at funerals, and there was nothing I said that she didn't agree with and vice versa...

I should stop. It's 11 PM and I haven't taken any of my own meds...
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Re: Mental Health & Some Helps

Postby shireling » Tue Mar 08, 2016 4:16 pm

just-shower-thoughts:

The most relaxing thing I can imagine is Mr. Rogers interviewing Bob Ross.
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Re: Mental Health & Some Helps

Postby shireling » Sun Mar 13, 2016 11:33 am

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