What's The WORST Fantasy Novel You Have Ever Read?

"Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy" - come here to discuss your favorite books about things that never happened.
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lotrfotrttrotk
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Re: What's The WORST Fantasy Novel You Have Ever Read?

Postby lotrfotrttrotk » Fri Apr 23, 2010 3:12 pm

:lol:
I don't think I've ever actually read a book that had exclamation points in the dialogue and the narration.
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Azriel
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Re: What's The WORST Fantasy Novel You Have Ever Read?

Postby Azriel » Fri Apr 23, 2010 4:19 pm

Hahaha, oh my word Keith, that hurt my brain....
I looked at the Amazon link. Apparently she's written/is writing another book.
"The Land of the Moepek- Six teenagers embark on an adventure through the jungles of Africa in search of an ancient underground city that no archeologists or scientists could find! The teens are able to find the ancient city because they have something that archeologists don't have! They have the actual map leading right to the city! They have to go through a pyramid full of booby-traps to get to the lost city! The Land of the Moepek is in itself an underground city full of riches and hidden dangers! There are gigantic flying dinosaurs, and a giant gorilla that has threatened and terriorized the hidden civilization for years! "



Oh boy! Sounds great! Exclamation marks make things more exciting!
I can't wait to read about the "terriorizing" gorilla!



Also, I thought of another awful book I read a while back. The Black Griffin by Mercedes Lackey and Larry Dixon. It was very very boring. There was some sort of plot, but it got completely overshadowed by the authors' obsession with griffins and birds and describing their grooming habits and mating habits and healthcare. This was yet another novel where the authors got too wrapped up in the details of their world to remember they have an audience that is waiting for something to happen.
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TomCotton
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Re: What's The WORST Fantasy Novel You Have Ever Read?

Postby TomCotton » Fri Apr 23, 2010 5:01 pm

Oh my goodness! I have a table! It has four legs! They all reach to the floor! The table has a flat top! I can put things on it! They will not fall off! Water is wet! That switch on the wall will flood the room with light! :P :roll:
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Re: What's The WORST Fantasy Novel You Have Ever Read?

Postby MsBrandybuck » Fri Apr 23, 2010 6:36 pm

@TomCotton: then why are you reading it if it is that bad? Do you have a personal rule of having to finish it once you begin it? :D

The very worst fantasy novel I read was the Gormengast Trilogy by Merwin Peake.
Gosh- I loathed the people in the story and hated the author for putting me through such a wretched tale.
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Re: What's The WORST Fantasy Novel You Have Ever Read?

Postby locksley » Fri Apr 23, 2010 8:33 pm

I have to second that nomination, MSB lol ... that was a pretty bad series. :D
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Re: What's The WORST Fantasy Novel You Have Ever Read?

Postby resoundingjoy » Fri Apr 23, 2010 9:00 pm

lotrfotrttrotk wrote::lol:
I don't think I've ever actually read a book that had exclamation points in the dialogue and the narration.


Oh, lotr, surely you read picture books as a child!

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Re: What's The WORST Fantasy Novel You Have Ever Read?

Postby TomCotton » Sat Apr 24, 2010 12:44 pm

@MsB: If you are asking about The Worm Ouroboros then once again I have given up the futile attempt of reading it despite taking the oath to finally finish that POS after many decades of trying. I don't even remember where the book is now. :D
If you are asking about! The Land of the Moepek! Then I ain't a-readin' it! Just makin' fun o' it! :P
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Re: What's The WORST Fantasy Novel You Have Ever Read?

Postby Keith » Sat Apr 24, 2010 1:53 pm

On ANTIGUA: the sequel referred to in the Amazon blurb (which is puzzling; I thought that section on Amazon was supposed to be for editorial reviews, not free advertising space for the authors) has never materialized, as far as I know. Most likely the online laughingstock status of ANTIGUA was too much for the authors' fragile little egos and/or they realized that self-publishing cr@p and marketing it through spamming wasn't a good way of making money.

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Re: What's The WORST Fantasy Novel You Have Ever Read?

Postby vispera » Tue Apr 27, 2010 2:41 am

:lol: omg, Keith, Az, and Tom...the three of you had me rolling on the floor. LOL

Az, I think Lackey lost me around The Black Griffin as well. Up until that point I read all her books. And then started sounding the same. Zzzzz

I have read a number of boring fantasy books. I usually forget their names. I was doing bookins for a while and took a chance on The Wall at the Edge of the World by Aikin. I think he used to be a lawyer...I hope he didn't quite his day job.

The premise was kinda interesting...idyllic society at first glance but right from the get-go there are weird rituals and people are enclosed within a fenced-in area. Delve a little deeper and it's suddenly post-apocalyptic. Apparently some people got superiority complexes, nuked the rest of the world, then built little walls. Amazingly some people outside survived, multiplied but had limited technology...anywho protagonist somehow winds up outside the wall, befriends savages, takes savage as lover...is found, captured, escapes, tries to sneak back into society to prevent word of large numbers of breeding savages getting to the powers that be...wifey won't let him go alone...has to drag her along and keep her hidden...

Are you bored to tears yet?

I think I have the book around somewhere. I reposted it to bookins but no one seems to want it. o_o. Imagine that.

I dunno what happens. I stopped caring. :lol:

I guess it should technically be sci/fi but it somehow got lumped into fantasy. Meh. Who cares. lol

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Re: What's The WORST Fantasy Novel You Have Ever Read?

Postby Keith » Tue Apr 27, 2010 10:00 pm

Vispy - that book sounds a bit like Zardoz, otherwise known as "The Seventies distilled into one really weird film". ;)

http://www.badmovies.org/movies/zardoz/

OT: Welcome back! Long time no see! :)

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Re: What's The WORST Fantasy Novel You Have Ever Read?

Postby vispera » Wed Apr 28, 2010 7:16 pm

:lol: I need a rolling smiley. That review was hilarious. Almost makes me want to watch the movie. Almost. :lol:

Thanks, it's nice to 'see' old friends again. :)

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Re: What's The WORST Fantasy Novel You Have Ever Read?

Postby Withywindle » Mon May 03, 2010 11:51 am

Gormenghast rocks!

Anything like the Wheel of Time. Ridiculously padded out overlong tripe. It's like the current mini series trend - keep churning it out without explaining anything fully until the ratings fall off then tack on a rushed shite ending that ignores half of the previous plot. Grrr.
Dear Mister Fantasy play us a tune / Something to make us all happy / Do anything to take us out of this gloom / Sing a song, play guitar / Make it snappy ...

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Re: What's The WORST Fantasy Novel You Have Ever Read?

Postby Halasian » Fri May 28, 2010 4:36 am

Cassie wrote:Ok I have to defend WoT :lol: Yes it's long, yes there's thousands of characters, yes he describes things WAY too much, yes everything is about boobs and their various sizes, but if you actually stick with it, read it slowly, and even re-read it again it gets better honestly. I've read all but the latest book 3 times now and this last time really got me understanding the characters better. I'm looking forward to the series actually having an ending though, especially with Jordan being RIP and all...


Hmm.... a reason for reading this series... :lol:
WoT, like GoT, are books I put down after a few chapters and never went back.
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Keith
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Re: What's The WORST Fantasy Novel You Have Ever Read?

Postby Keith » Fri May 28, 2010 7:46 pm

I should shoot you for mentioning Wheel of Time and A Song of Ice and Fire in the same sentence... :P

[quote="Withywindle"]Anything like the Wheel of Time. Ridiculously padded out overlong tripe. It's like the current mini series trend - keep churning it out without explaining anything fully until the ratings fall off then tack on a rushed shite ending that ignores half of the previous plot. Grrr.[/url]

To be fair, that sort of thing has been around since before Lost and BSG; cf. The X-Files.

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Re: What's The WORST Fantasy Novel You Have Ever Read?

Postby gaffergamgee » Sat May 29, 2010 10:52 pm

LOL at Voltar the Dragon!! :lol: Er...What happened next? :lol: :roll:
I'm with Shuggy, 'Sword of Shannara' is the most blatant rip-off of Lord of the Rings I'm amazed the Tolkien estate never sued. I'm told that some of the later stories in the Shannara series are more original and better written, but I just couldn't be bothered.
As for Gormenghast, looks like it's one of those books that polarizes opinions; I thought it was a fabulous trilogy. I always imagine that Gondor could end up like Gormenghast with a couple of thousand more years of the Stewards' rule, if the War of the Ring hadn't come along to shake things up!


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