My dear Joon...

[shireling]

Duane came into my room early, saying that he wants to go to the doctor.

His back hurts, and I gave him some of my migraine formula aspirin. It helped the pain, but as the morning wore on, it turns out that he's been having this pain for months. Months. Gets up with it every morning. Just when he was going to let me know, well he just did. So, I'm calling first thing tomorrow.

He's had kidney stones in the past, and this looks like that again. It's the same spot on the right side as last time. It's our anniversary on the 9th, and we had plans; he still wants to go out, but I can't unless I can get him in and seen first. We were going to get seafood, but now I'm thinking Mexican - with a big ol' glass of cranberry juice. I just want to get him seen before we do anything. Why he does this, I don't know. He'll have something going on and I'll be the last person to know. Not that he tells anybody else either. It's just that two of us find out there's a problem, and there's an order to this. He's first, I'm second - and last. Before the doctor.

On the other side of me, Amy had a birthday. She is officially 13, as of sometime this week. I got it narrowed down to the 1st or 2cd day of July. So this means, curfew at 10, inspection before she goes out, and no boys until she's fifteen. She agreed, just as long as I keep her in salmon-flavored treats.

I am so glad I didn't have a daughter. As butch as I am - which is not all that; I don't own a pickup. But I don't wear makeup, and I don't like dresses. My mother tried so hard. I had perms against my will and this one blue dress with a white scoop neck at Christmas, the Christmas after my 11th birthday. I was so cold in that thing. I kept trying to pull my head into the collar, like a tortoise. But there was no collar. The scoop went from the top of my sternum in front, to the peak of my shoulder blades in back. It had a back zipper. And she kept slapping me, and telling me to straighten up. God, it was a nightmare.

It was my dad's company Christmas party, that was the reason for the dress-up. Both Bev and I got jewelry boxes from the Santa Claus, which were really beautiful. But I hated that dress with a passion. It is funny though, because I did go through a Goth period when I was 14. Foundation an inch-thick, red lipstick, black shadow, and nobody said boo about it. I was a sophomore in high school, having started first grade when I was 5, so I guess it was treated like the phase it was, and I soon outgrew it. It's a shame we don't do that more with kids.

My 'diet' is going well. I don't know why I didn't think of it before. Of course, I'm not going to be able to do this all the way to my goal - at some point something's gotta give. I bought the strawberry flavor and just had the supper one an hour ago. No more when that's all gone . It was okay for a change, but I've got two more days of it and I want it over as quickly as possible. The vanilla's not bad; it makes nice creamer for coffee and tea as well, but chocolate is the staff of life...

Duane brought up the 'finger incident' over lunch. He thought that my trouble with the Bane have spilled over to the wife, but the wife in some ways has been worse. How you can be kind to a person's face, and then contemptuous to them in front of others - I've always been at a loss. I just never brought her up. I stopped attending Ruhi because of her. "Well," he said. "Abdu'l-Baha wouldn't have given her the finger."

"Did Iranians even give the finger a hundred years ago?" That was the end of that conversation.

It'll be 36 years tomorrow, since we got engaged. And I'll call the doctor for him; right now, he's got an ice pack duct taped over the spot because it's too early to take more medicine. I hope we can get an appointment Monday.


*sigh*
sara

[shireling]

Scoliosis...

Did not see that coming. Sixty-seven years old, and this is the first we're hearing of it. So, Duane's got super duper pain meds on board, and a recommendation for physical therapy/chiropractics. Geeze. Uncle Dickon strikes again!


sara

[shireling]

I was hoping to get a referral for a chiropractor for Duane, but it's not that easy.

Not any more. It used to be that your doctor would refer you to someone that they knew, and had sent other patients to. Now you have to find your own that your insurance will cover. I'm telling them that he's on regular Medicare, the federal government plan. Makes no difference apparently. All through the conversation, I was hoping the nurse would suddenly change the protocol, which was in vain, of course, due to my weak Jedi skills. So, I'm going to have to call said federal government and get me some names.

Meanwhile, the anti-inflammatory has seemed to build up a bit and kick in, so he's more comfortable. Good thing too, because he's not amenable to the hot/cold therapy that's so readily available. Anyway, we'll be getting a call from the hospital that Dr. W_'s connected with. Their physical therapy department will call to set up an appointment for him. That's probably better. Maybe I can get a recommendation from them, if they think seeing a specialist will help. So that's that for now.

Late night I got a call from Ann, from the Secular Franciscans. Brother Brian's brother, Tim, is poorly and Lois is declining rapidly.

Lois has been on the prayer list ever since I first started going to Saint Francis. At first, nobody seemed to know if she were even alive, she's been out of the loop for so long. Her address was the first one I sent a letter to, and it was returned. Ann told me to use the Church's address as a return, and, after, that idea was quickly squashed. It didn't seem like a good idea at the time, but hey, I'm open to direction; what did I know? Anyway, I had to be told that it came back, and it took some work to finally get a current location written down for her. For myself, I set up a little plan of sending cards to people in the community. Mainly, there are Profession Anniversary cards (to mark the day they became Secular Franciscans), birthday, and get well. If there's a death, or someone would like a note sent to a family member, I handle those too. But for the shut-ins, I send messages, including quotes from St. Francis or the Pope for example, every couple of months. For that reason, I took over the payment of stamps and won't let them reimburse me for them.

Anyway, Lois was born in 1928. She's lived through a lot of history, much of it bad. We've never met, and I do have a Christmas card from her. It was from last December, and she was grateful for the one she'd received. Last September, she was in the hospital for over a month. This September, she'll have been a Secular Franciscan for 58 years, and I hope she'll still be here so it can be acknowledged...

I'm getting sleepy and I have yet to brush my teeth. 'night.


sara

[shireling]

Still no referral for physical therapy.

Apparently the pharmacy can't get any more of prescription that was ordered for Duane. So they offered to call Dr. W_ for something else, which will take a while; in the meantime, I can give him my migraine formula, I guess. He's been doing so well, I really don't want to change anything, but what are you gonna do? The man can't go with nothing.

Today I made some changes to help me take care of Amy. The litter I was using was sticking to the walls of the box, not to mention the scoop. It results in a substance close to the consistency of concrete, and I don't know if it's the chemicals in the cat pee or the litter itself or just the unfortunate combination thereof that's at issue. Anyway, there's a new brand on the market called 'Slide'. The name reminds me of a product my ob/gyn once recommended - or was that 'Glide'? At any rate, I bought a box of the new, improved kitty sand, and so far, it's doing what it promised. And that's in combination with what's left of the old stuff, so I can't wait until it's all 'Slide' and we're completely out of 'Clump & Scoop'.

The other is the 'Neater Feeder'. Being a Siberian, Amy likes to play in water - which is probably why she ended up with us after wearing out her welcome in three other homes. It has a tray, which goes under a double-bowl holder. The holder is made like a sieve, and catches all the bits and drips as she eats. Well, today, I thought, since she's having trouble reaching the bowls over the lip of the holder, why don't I just clean the holder, put it away, and set her dishes in the tray? It's so much easier for her to get to everything now - better I should have thought of it now than never. And it's easier to clean too, because now I don't have that holder to deal with. So, anything that makes life less difficult, bring it on.

Today we went to the CPA, and got our tax return. We were late getting everything together so we had to get an extension, which I guess the government didn't mind doing, because this time, they owed us money . That hasn't happened since...1983? I think that was the last time we got a refund. We won't get one next year, but that's okay. We're used to not having them.

Right now I'm in the middle of washing clothes. Five loads. It's that week with the sheets. The beds are newly-made, the towels are fresh, there's a load of unmentionables/pajamas in the dryer and the last of the outer clothes on the final spin. I'm so glad I'll get to sleep in tomorrow morning...

I had something happen Sunday morning. Duane and I prepared the Devotions. Mike had come to visit, and we decided to do a Hidden Words devotional. We also had a brief history and definition of the Book:

Baha’u’llah’s book, The Hidden Words, speaks directly to us about how to live a spiritual life. A treasury of divine mysteries, The Hidden Words came directly from Baha’u’llah as he walked the banks of the Tigris River in Baghdad in 1858. Historians have said that “The chief aim of Baha’u’llah in The Hidden Words is to detach man from this mortal world and to protect his soul from its greatest enemy, himself” and “The Hidden Words show in their crystal clarity the very structure of faith and religion.” Another called The Hidden Words “… a mighty charter for the salvation of the human soul”.

Short, deceptively simple and filled with eternal, timeless wisdom, The Hidden Words spans only 52 pages. Made up of inspiring and mystical metaphors, allusions and aphorisms, and written originally in both Persian and Arabic, Baha’u’llah opens The Hidden Words with a lyrical description of its purpose:

This is that which hath descended from the realm of glory, uttered by the tongue of power and might, and revealed unto the Prophets of old. We have taken the inner essence thereof, and clothed it in the garment of brevity, as a token of grace unto the righteous, that they may stand faithful unto the Covenant of God, may fulfill in their lives His trust, and in the realm of the spirit obtain the gem of Divine virtue. – The Hidden Words, p. 3.

Why are the words 'hidden'? The mysterious title refers to a Muslim mythical tradition:

Fatimih was the daughter of Muhammad, the holiest and the most outstanding woman of the Islamic Dispensation. At a young age she was married to Ali, the successor to Muhammad, and bore him several children, two of whom, Hasan and Husayn, succeeded their father to become the second and third Imams, respectively, of the Shí’ah sect of Islam. Fatimih was a true and faithful believer and was much devoted to her Father. His death plunged her into a state of bitter anguish and grief.

According to the traditions of Shí’ah Islam, the Holy Spirit personified as the Angel Gabriel descended upon her and addressed certain words to her. These were dictated to Ali, her husband, and were revealed to bring consolation to her soul in her bereavement. – Adib Taherzadeh, The Revelation of Baha’u’llah v 1, p. 70.

Another historian and commentator, Marzieh Gail, defines her view of the historical origin of Baha’u’llah’s mystical work:

The Hidden Words is the Hidden Book of Fatimih — the words which Gabriel brought to mitigate her anguish: for she had seen her Father’s death, and, forty days after the Prophet had ascended, the schism in Islam beginning before her eyes. Those unknown words addressed to Fatimih were believed by Shí’ah Islam to be in the possession of the Promised One Who would come from the line of her descendants; and they were called “Hidden” because all down the centuries their content was unknown. – Six Lessons on Islam, p. 29.

These counsels from Baha’u’llah make up a map, a guidebook, a set of symbols and signs intended to lead every spiritual seeker on the journey toward the Creator. - from Baha'i Teachings. Org; written by author David Langness

People were invited to bring their own books, and share their favorites. Well, there's one in the Arabic pages, #51, that makes me think of Saint Francis of Assisi, and I shared that.

O SON OF MY HANDMAID! Be not troubled in poverty nor confident in riches, for poverty is followed by riches, and riches are followed by poverty. Yet to be poor in all save God is a wondrous gift, belittle not the value thereof, for in the end it will make thee rich in God, and thus thou shalt know the meaning of the utterance, “In truth ye are the poor,” and the holy words, “God is the all-possessing,” shall even as the true morn break forth gloriously resplendent upon the horizon of the lover’s heart, and abide secure on the throne of wealth.

As soon as I said the first word, I felt a presence. A heaviness in the air that weigh on my forehead and shoulders, that told me he was there. Today, when we were out, waiting for our order a Chop Suey, I asked Duane if he'd felt anything. He said no. I was so surprised by that. It's not scary, I've had it before. It's just nice to know that he showed up . I know it sounds a bit nutty - well, maybe loads nutty - but, we're told, that the next world is closer than our life vein. *sigh* It was was nice, and sweet, and I hope he comes back.

Anyway, my timer just let me know that I have to get to the dryer and finish up. Take care, my joons.


sara

[shireling]

Still no refill .

The Honey says that the over-the-counter stuff is working, but it's not the muscle-relaxant. Anyway, we do have an appointment with the physical therapist ready to go. I'm just worried about this.


sara

[shireling]

We still didn't have his medication, as of this morning. So, I said,"Let's stop at the doctor's office and tell them the problem." What follows is an example of why I lose my mind on a routine basis.

Because I called the medication a 'muscle-relaxant', and that's what the pharmacy told me it was, the GP's staff were not responding to either the shop's calls or mine. In fact, when we got to the office, that was the first thing out of the nurse's mouth. That it's not a muscle relaxant, Dr. W_ doesn't prescribe MRs, and me, I'm just giving it the name the pharmacy did! Waste of 3 minutes while this person explains what the drug is not.

...Christ...

I've worked with people like that in my youth. They know their professions inside and out, can perform a tracheotomy with a nail file and a BIC pen, and sew up a wound with dental floss, but don't get them stuck on a word. Anyway, he's got two medications for his back now, that we were able to pick up. I hope this is as bad as it gets.

Meanwhile, I've forgotten all about his thyroid prescription of which he currently has one pill. God, I hope it's filled and just needs picked up. Anyway, enjoy your weekend, joons, and I'll try to do the same.



sara

[shireling]

Duane feels faraway from God. For the first time today.

Actually he's depressed. He doesn't know what about, maybe it's because he feels far from God, or he's just depressed. I hate this. I don't have words for how much I hate this. It comes from his whole family's view that if you believe in God, you don't have or even get touched by negative emotions. What a load of crap. But, that's how my father-in-law used to talk, and my brothers-in-law. So, why am I not surprised that the middle son is exactly like them? That's a rhetorical question, btw.

I never think about feeling near or far from God. I just figure I'm in the ball park. I mean, why not? I'm a sort of semi-good person. I have my foibles and follies, but I don't do this. Mirza Abu'l-Fadl went through a phase where he was praying so hard, and weeping so copiously that he passed out. He hadn't been eating, he was living in America at the time - with Ali Kuli-Khan as interpreter and housemate - and he just got into this how-unworthy-he-was-frame-of-mind, doing himself some real damage. Thank God, Duane's not like that. But, to paraphrase, Ali Kuli-Khan said, "Look at you. A great being like you, weeping yourself sick. If you feel this devastated, what hope is there for the rest of us?"

But, see, that's how Duane is - just not to the point of passing out. He's a very holy person - much better than I am, anyway. I'm just here to keep body and soul together in clean clothes, prescriptions and food so he can read and teach the Faith on the computer. Like Golda to Tevye, except it's not a kosher home and I usually get the final word.

Between you and me, until the Honey catches sight of it, I bought another statue. A 12" tall Gabriel.



I already have a Saint Michael, but I wanted this Messenger, too, because of his connection to Christianity and Islam. He also may be too big for the shelf, and I've been fighting the urge to cancel the order. There is a 6" version, and I have asked if I can switch for it. If they say no, what am I going to do? He is beautiful - the most beautiful angel statue I've ever seen, and he looks like a boy. So, I'll just see what happens. Here's that one:



He's also very beautiful, but with a different attitude. Actually, I've always wondered if the Angel came mirroring Mary's own face. It would have made Her curious, I think. Anyway, if I'm better than I've been, I might actually get to ask Her. Or, maybe it won't matter to me anymore. I've also been wanting, against all better judgment, to get a statue of Mary Magdalene. It turns out that she had a lot to do - much more than the early church fathers could stand. So her words were given to some of the guys, like Peter, and, in one case, the case of Lazarus, she was split between two other women. No wonder Baha'u'llah thought so much of her. These guys ought to be ashamed of themselves. I have known for years that women led services in the beginning Christian church, that is until 'Paul-I'm-an-Apostle-doncha-know', put in his two cents. And there's no talking to people about this.

"But he saw a light."
"He heard a voice."

He hit his head on a rock! Where was he when the rest of the posse was traveling around the countryside with Jesus? Talking back to Him, putting Him down, signing a major death warrant for the first Deacon of the Church - just hanging out. Know-it-all - that's from me. I am so annoyed with him. The sacrifices of the Twelve don't measure up to what happened to Paul on the road to Damascus, I'm told. "Paul met the criterion for Apostleship without it", says Father Frank (I'm sure it's nobody you know.) *sigh* No wonder the Magdalene never got her due; with scholars like these, who needs enemies? I won't even get started on the Virgin...

Except to say that She was a grown-up! She was not a perpetual teenager! Saint Joseph was Her husband, in fact, and there were other kids! I believe that with all my heart. One of these days I'm going to have to ask Lynda how she could stop being a Lutheran, and embrace Catholicism. Initially, I know it had to do with problems among the ministry (some adultery among the clerics) since she was a pastor with her own congregation. And she doesn't get the whole veneration of Mary, it's not a protestant thing at all; not that she hasn't tried. She asked what the perimeters were for being a convert, and she was told that she has to embrace the entire catechism. My heart goes out to her.

She's younger than me, and gay. Not that she's said, but I know my people when I meet them. So, it's been tough all around for her, and I just hope that she's able to get what she needs, even if it's not what she wants. Before she left for Rome, she gave me a couple of Marian items. One was a Seven Sorrows rosary, and the other was a beautiful coffee-table book about the Holy Mother. I had bought a new crucifix (it's actually the Virgin Mary in middle of a burst of sunlight) and a center (shaped like a rose) for my Crown rosary, and switched the pieces. It was much more fitting that way, and I gave the beads to a crafting friend whose mom collects rosaries. I can understand why it didn't appeal to Lynda.

The sorrows are exactly that. It is gorgeous piece, there's no denying. The beads were of black glass, and each one of the Our Fathers was a silver medal, displaying the Virgin, Her heart stabbed with seven swords. And with the black crucifix, the silver corpus's face contorted in agony - you get my drift. Now...this is not what I would give to a newly-minted Catholic, especially a Protestant who had been a minister with her own church. You'd be right to think that I probably don't have a grasp of what's appropriate. But, I can't deny that it's so much better that it went to the new home I gave it to; the new owner is cradle-to-grave and she absolutely adored it. She knew the meaning of these things, and was appreciative. But I don't know why Lynda didn't want the book at all, just from the lovely this thing is.

There is not one page that isn't illustrated. It is just chock full of artwork - all genres, all centuries, you name it, it's in there. And I truly love this, and will cherish it always. I finally, just today, figured out what to do with my two ladies of the Galilean Women's Guild, Saints Joanna Chuza (Chuza was her husband and he was steward for Herod) and Susanna.



I bought these two pendants, which came all the way from Israel, though I can't find a picture of the pendant for Susanna, that's what they both look like. Anyway, I made them into a bookmark for this particular book, and I am rather pleased with it. I attached them to cord and attached the cord to a laminated card of Saint Anthony (a buddy of Francis who should have known that Christ had financial support from His Mother's friends, and probably would have if the Church wasn't so tight with the men being in control of everything.) As for the Saint Francis bookmark, I tied a leaf, rose, bird and paw print to the ribbon I put with it. It just seemed appropriate - more than the other. I just can't leave stuff alone. I must tinker!

You may be interested to know that it takes a fraction of the time to read what it took me three hours to write . I hope that your weekend is going well, and that you're having fun. Be careful, and stay cool, my joons.



sara

[shireling]

Made the switch .

The 6" Gabriel is in the mail and should be here Friday. Duane's got his first physical therapy appointment, and he's going back to into counseling. His one medication was increased by 5 mg. on Tuesday, and he did ask me to cancel the request he made, but today he changed his mind. I made the call and he left the message.

She called back within 20 minutes. I didn't realize that he'd taken 4 religious courses over the past year, and he's on the last one now. It might just have been too much to handle. I hope this helps.


sara

[shireling]

Gabriel's here!

He's gorgeous but much smaller than I thought. The piece is 6" tall (plus 3/4 if you count the wood base), but he's too little for the space I had in mind. So now, he stands between the Bible and the Quran, just below the icon of Malik-el-Kamil and St. Francis. He holds quill pen and a scroll, the writing upon which is illegible. And that's fine, because if it said, "AVE MARIE", like the majority of them do, it wouldn't be as appropriate, at least to my mind.

He looks elvish. Mainly because the paint on his head doesn't cover the tips of his ears very well, and he's got Vulcan eyebrows. It doesn't match the picture as well as it might. The body is heavier in the photo, and in person, the build is more feminine. But, he's got an Adam's apple. *chuckle* Oh, the how do I make thee androgynous? Let me count the ways.

Anyway, I like him. I was surprised to see that there's a metal label nailed to the base, that reads 'Archangel Gabriel'. It wasn't on the picture, but I'm glad it's there. Otherwise people would be asking. They might still, I don't know. But, now we wait for Herself of the Apocalypse.

I ran into Terrie and it's been bought. Her brother and family are coming up from Brazil next month, with Her in tow. I'm so excited.

When I had my first communion, I wanted a big Virgin Mary statue as a gift. My cousin got one, so I'm thinking, yeah why not? But I didn't and I guess I'm making up for lost time. Duane just let's it happen; I won't be getting any of Jesus, I don't believe in having depictions of Manifestations of God. So you won't see Him or any of the Others in our house. But, angels and saints, and Mary I'm more than okay with.

I should be in bed, I'm up so late. I put on a pair of pants today and they just slid up. I'm hoping that by January, I can wear my new, five-pairs-of-never-tried-on-doh! jeans that have been hanging in the closet for the past two years. I did eat a pint of ice cream today, which I'm sharing notice of in the interest of transparency, mainly because I wanted it but also so that my body doesn't think I'm depriving it. I missed supper though. Not hungry at all but I'd best get a couple of glasses of water down before I go to sleep. Take care, joons of mine.


sara

[shireling]

Saw the PT for the first time.

While waiting for them to open after lunch, I noticed that the lady of the couple waiting with us, was wearing a Tau Cross. Turns out that they did a 'pilgrimage' at St. Francis, and at the end of it, everybody got one of these. So, she's not a Secular Franciscan - that's what I asked when I saw it, and she was confused by the question. But, if you go on one of these spiritual trips in place, you're given the Tau. I didn't know that, so that was pretty neat. I showed her mine with the star and crescent attached, and explained my situation. Hope to run into her again sometime.

Anyway, there were seven pages of paperwork to fill out before we did anything. The PT was very nice and patient with Duane. He has a host of exercises to do, three times a day; she does want him to use cold/heat to help with the pain and not rely on the medications so much. She doesn't think a chiropractor's necessary, which was a relief. There's three more appointments with her in August, I don't know after that. I think that's good, just to make sure he's going about this correctly. He had trouble following directions when first being shown the exercises.

Diet's coming along. The last place I gain is in my back, so that's the first place I lose. It kind of goes from back, over head to chin, to chest, then back to back. The last place I lose from is my stomach. Fingers, toes, upper arms, thighs, scalp, nape, earlobes - all of them will surrender their fat first, I am not kidding. My place in the species is secure when it comes to out-lasting starvation - unless of course I get eaten. I have no idea how much I weigh and that's just fine. That was what I hated about weight-loss companies.

The meetings, the weigh-ins, yuck - not to mention the money I lost every week. Btw, I did join Jenny Craig once and lost 67 dollars the first week. True story. Anyway, I'm peddling along, eating with everybody else when they eat, and just having glucerna for breakfast and supper. I really feel good. Hope it lasts.

It's Saturday, and I could be sleeping in. I should be sleeping in. I'm gonna go and sleep in.


sara

[shireling]

I would like to do this week over .

No Michael come Sunday. He had a massive blister on one heel, and it broke. So he's running around the house with no shoes and didn't want to visit - which never happens, so it must have really hurt. Then Monday, the Honey needs labs to see how the iodine is working through his system. We get the blood draw, get him to the library for a new book, and as I'm waiting at the light to make a right turn, the car in front of me starts to go, then stops, and I hit it.

The driver's a kid, and the damage is to her bumper - two horizontal lines where my license plate is. If it'd been me, I'd just have said it's okay, but no. Because we were at the top of an interstate ramp, we didn't call the police. I have no phone but I noticed that her front bumper was hanging from her driver's side; a phone with a camera would have been the thing to have right then. I showed her my insurance card, she didn't show me hers, and we exchanged phone numbers. Once we got to the mall, I asked another driver if I could borrow their phone, and they were nice enough to help.

I left a message with Allstate, and come Tuesday afternoon I got a phone call. From the driver's father. I was worried about that, worried about being strong-armed by a dad, a brother, a boyfriend, and accused of having done more than I did. It's the times we're in. But he sounded more scared than I would have thought, and when I called back, this how it went.

"Hello, I'm Tata's father. Please call me."
"Hello, Mr. B..."
"It's Mr. D..."
"Oh, pardon me. How is she?"
"She's fine."
"Have you seen the damage?"
"No."
"Did she tell you where it was?"
"...yes..."
"Where?"
"...her rear bumper..."
"Okay. Just call this number, and they'll take care of her."

That was when I made a claim. He hesitated before he answered on those last two. So now I wait, and see what happens. She had suggested getting the car fixed and then telling me how much it would cost. She didn't want me calling my insurance company, but that's what it's for, such wonderful life experiences as this. Girlfriend is fine, she doesn't look any different, but from the sound of the thing, you would have thought I had the engine in my lap. I don't know if this will raise my rates or not, but I can't think of anything else I could have done. Anyway, that's on the burner, and I'll see what they decide to do.

I changed my mind about the Gabriel, and sent him back. I never do that, but then I've not been this disappointed in anything as much as this. I tried to like him, I thought I did, but he's just not what his picture is. And I should have known when I couldn't get a more detailed view. So, I'm getting this one as a replacement



As you can see, he's bigger and more colorful. I hope this one works out.

That accident really annoys me. I wouldn't even have been there if we hadn't had those other runs (to the lab, to the library.) It was the most convenient way to get there after all that. Anyway, Saturday is All Franciscan Day. It will be my 4th.

This year they aren't feeding us, so we have to brown bag. The five dollar fee is going to papers for the gathering. I'm hoping that we're getting back to what we were discussing that first year. The Pope was in the process of relieving the faithful of some of the non-biblical stuff, stuff that some Catholics might be too attached to to let go. Apparently, none of them are sacraments - like infant baptism, communion, confession, confirmation, blessing of the sick, marriage, and holy orders. Half of them aren't biblical, but they aren't on the block, meaning, at least for me, those first four I listed. There wasn't enough draft sheets to go around, and I wish I had them now. Anyway these get-togethers are always interesting and I wouldn't miss it.

And we are back to our old pizza guy . Last Saturday, we decided that's what we'd like for lunch, so I made the order online to the one Duane likes. Everything was okay, I thought, but when I clicked on the final bit, it looked as though I was going to have to pick it up at 10:30 that morning. It was just past 8, and they weren't going to be open until then. So, I waited. This was the third time I'd had problems with them with online orders. A month ago, we'd bought food for Feast the day before. But, they don't save the credit card info like the others do, and they called Mel, asking for me, because I wanted the food delivered to her home. Mel, of course, didn't know I was doing this and so didn't tell me. Anyway, the order was delivered to her address, and I had enough cash on me to cover it.

At 10:27 the doorbell rings and there's our pizza. I explained that I did arrange for a noon delivery, and gave her a nice tip for the rushed order. They wanted to make another for us and deliver it then, but there was nothing wrong with what we'd gotten. So I told Duane I rest my case, we are switching back. He is not challenging me on this - smart man. It went into the oven, and we had it at 12.

That's all I've got. I'll let you know how things turn out with the collision - which I am so steamed about. And I will be, until it's resolved. Have good day/night, joons. Talk to you later.


sara

[shireling]

I don't know where to start.

I get in here and I think I know, and then I don't. It's been another interesting week - no more accidents, and I don't know what's happening with the last one. I have asked and was told it was 'pending', whatever that means but my mind has been much on this past All Franciscan Day.

Saturday we were back at Saint Vivian's. This year, they asked that we bring our own lunches and they provided coffee, tea, water and soft drinks like always. Bagels and pastries for the morning. There were a bunch of books for the taking, and I picked up a huge catalog of saints. It's a nice hardbound complete with dust jacket, and feels barely read. I like having one of these around. They don't make sense, for the most part, of why these people are held in higher esteem than others - a lot of the folks in this book are doctors of the church, some men and a few women fall into that category. But it was free, my favorite price for stuff, so it's come home with me.

There's also a lady who makes these beautiful greeting cards, and I bought a bunch of those for my infirmarian job. Right now, I can't close my file box, it's stuffed to the gills with stationary but it's only once a year.

This time the speaker was a Franciscan priest by the name of Daniel. Young guy, thirtyish-looking and I heard the word 'heresy' five times during his presentation. And this was about the environment, including the Bird Bath Industrial Complex. That refers to the huge economy built around the reduction of Francis to a yard ornament. Good thing it wasn't about theology (it was actually.) Btw, Franciscan theology dates back 800 years, and that's as recent as it gets. I had trouble following some of what was said; the main no-no is not to believe that Jesus is fully both God and man, equally, in two parts. And I don't believe that.

Catholicism is that last of the great mystery religions. Everything that can't be explained is a mystery. Makes it easy. When the Jews were slow to recognize Jesus as the Messiah, the solution was to piggyback onto the original faith of pagan Rome. Why not? The goyim was enthusiastic for this new Faith, what with its demi-god born of woman, like Hercules and Perseus. There is nothing Jewish about the foundation of Christianity, except for the handful of people at the heart of it. So it was hard to sit there and listen to the medieval...rantings? I felt so alone, while those around me oohed and ahhed over this stuff.

Later, when I told my Baha'i friends, the couple of them that will listen, they wanted to know what I wanted to do now. Well, I'm staying put. If I had any doubts, last Saturday put them to rest. I need to be there - not to challenge, not to marshal the proofs, because these are all full vessels, which do not have ears to hear or eyes to see - forgive the metaphor mixing. But I do love them, and while they may not know it now, they will need everything that they currently reject. I only hope I'm up to some of it.

I bought another statue...



See how I just slipped that in? I know, but I love the Magdalene so. She ranges from 4" to more than life-size, and varies in price from 9 dollars to hundreds and even thousands. I did find one that was in mint condition and affordable, so She's going to live in my bedroom, next to my jewelry box and across from my Richard III novels. I just had to have Her, but now I'm done. Really. The Gabriel is here, too, the new one, and he is as awesome as can be. I know I said I was done and I'm just waiting for Herself of The Revelation - call it a weakness - but I feel complete now. Just like I did when I bought my last LOTR action figure. You just know for sure when it's time, and before then, you're just hoping. Anyway, Mary of Magdala is on Her way here from Kansas, and estimated delivery is Saturday. So, the complete set, at least for me, are four depictions of the Virgin Mary, Saint Francis of Assisi, Mary Magdalene, and the Archangels Gabriel and Michael.

Yep, that's enough. You can have too many Frodo, I've found, and too many of these too.



sara

[shireling]

Mary Magdalene arrived this afternoon.

She was really bundled up well, and it took some doing to get her out of the packing, but she's here on my bookcase . All four pounds of her. It is really a magnificent piece, and I'm done. I am, except for Revelation/Apocalypse that was on my radar months ago; she's due to arrive sometime later this month. But I can't think of any other that I want. I finally fill satisfied.

Duane hasn't seen her. He probably won't, unless I point her out. These people that I admire so in Christianity, I just wanted to have depictions of them. There are others, like Margaret Clitherow, a pregnant woman pressed to death for hiding a priest during the reign of Elizabeth I, and Anne Askew, who was racked and burned, by Henry VIII. She was Protestant, so she's not included, but she should be. It's revolting how many people have been, and still are, being maimed and killed for their beliefs.

I don't have anything more to say.


sara

[shireling]

The accident is finished. The other driver has had her bumper replaced, which amazes me, seeing what the thing looked like. But it's over and I'm satisfied. My rates aren't going up, which is a relief, and we've already taken care of the next six months of payments for auto insurance.

My little statue of Our Lady of the Apocalypse is here. She's less than three inches tall - no wait. She's three and one half inches tall, according to my ruler. The story is that the shop was vandalized and the larger mold for the 8" one was taken, as well as anything that wasn't nailed down. I had been hearing that things were bad in Sao Paulo, but even this surprised me. She's so tiny that you can't really see any of the details, so I've tucked her away for safekeeping. But that's it. No more statues. I'm done. I just don't know what to make of the news that came out earlier this week, about the 300 abusers in the dioceses of Pennsylvania.

It gives me chills. Seventy years of this, and no one held accountable - especially now, that it's too late to bring these bastards to justice. A lot have died, but the statute of limitations has run out; how in the hell can there be a limitation on this stuff? I've noticed that things having to do with assaults against women and kids all have time limits. , indeed. Unbelievable. Chris Matthews grew up in Philadelphia, and was amazed that nothing had happened to him or any of his brothers. "It wouldn't have," said the journalist on his show, "if you were from a stable home." These MFers can smell vulnerability, and that's who they went after...sons of bitches.

So I have made a call to S.N.A.P., to add my support. I haven't heard back yet, I might not. I really don't know how I could help. It just enrages me, knowing that one of the reasons why Trump won was because of the Supreme Court nomination, to end Roe. Okay. So the unborn matter and murderous death row villains shouldn't be executed, but kids ripped from asylum-seeking parents, and those abused by clergy can just f-off. *sigh*

We never touch on this, in the Franciscans. A few times it came up in the Monday night book club, but not if Father Tom came. I can't handle going back to that, or to the crafting really - not as long as Trump's in office. There's not the open support that there was originally, but there are those who don't mind making deals with Satan. I told Ann that I was upset with myself for saying that to a couple a few months back, and she said,"Don't be. I think you're right. Sometimes, some of us get so obsessed with the Church's teachings, and don't care how they get fulfilled. There's quite a bit of Faust going around these days, and for too many, if that's what it takes to end abortion, then that's okay."

In other news, the Honey is doing well with his physical therapy. He's still going on about this "I feel far from God" trip. Today I broke my diet with a huge triple-decker peanut butter and butter sandwich. It wasn't all that good, but it did pack the hollow places. Whenever I'm feeling low, I tend to skip the bed-making and sleep away the afternoons. This was the first time I grabbed the Crunchy Skippy and Land 'o Lakes in months. Normally it would have been something good, like brownies, but we don't have them and I didn't want to get dressed to get some. I'm back on the wagon now - not because I'm being noble, but the thing did make me feel a bit nauseous.

It's going on midnight here, so I'll close. May tomorrow be better.


sara

[shireling]

I got it into my head this morning that I wanted to get another one of those wooden bowls with the swingable magnetic lid. The one I did buy I glued my Lady of Grace statue to the top of, and She's the keeper of my Saint Brigid Anglican Prayer beads. I know I posted it in here - 34 beads, one for each year of Jesus' life plus one for the Resurrection? I use it for The Bab's prayers.

The Celtic knot is for Say: God Sufficieth, the 6 big beads are for Remover of Difficulties, and the 28 regulars are O God! My God! My Beloved! My heart's Desire!. I really like this! You can say anything with it, making it much more flexible than the rosary. But I wanted another for my Saint Francis statue. So this morning, I got dressed and headed on over to where I had bought the first one.

They were gone. All of them. Oh, there were wooden bowls by the same maker of various sizes, but none with its own lid, that will snap shut when it comes within distance of the magnet embedded in the lip. Undaunted, I searched. Up and down each aisle, behind merch, above shelves, below shelves, nothing. But I wanted something for Signore. After all He's been so wonderful to me, and I truly wanted something nice for Him. Well, as I'm looking and finding nothing, I see plates. Fired ceramic plates. Some round, some square - some for salad, some for dessert, and I picked up a brown one. It was just the right size, I'm thinking. I'll glue Himself to the middle of the dish, and He can hold my Prayer Beads .

So off I go to the register, when I suddenly realize that He's wearing brown. His hair is brown, His beard, His habit - everything. By gluing Him to this, He'll be brown, in brown, on brown, on a brown wood bookcase. Nope. Nopenopenopenopenope. Back we go to the dishware, and there, just right at the height of my eye, is a square plate. The middle sports a navy blue square, in the middle of a sky-blue burst, edged with pale yellow all around. And I'm thinking, hey, Herself has these colors while standing on brown - why not put Himself on the plate? With the pretty little bluebird in His hand?

It was 5 bucks. Okay, its was 5 dollars and 33 cents, but when I got it home, fetched out the Gorilla Glue, dotted the bottom of Signore Assisi, and planted Him smack in the middle of the dish - it was glorious ! *squee* So very pretty! And now He watches over my Baha'i prayer beads ! I'm so happy! See? It doesn't take much.

I wish it was this easy for everything else...


sara