The pipes didn't break. I'm so glad I was wrong about that. Everything just melted and the washer is back online, thank God.
We've had our January thaw. It was in the 50s on Thursday, and our kitchen and household stuffs are nicely stocked. I'm searching for another meal I can make quickly, and today we're having kielbasi and German potato salad. We go out to eat twice a week - Tuesdays are Chop Suey
, Fridays Steak 'n Shake
- so with the three veggie pastas, and the mushroom & clam chowder, I needed just one more.
To call them veggie is an injustice to the pastas. They're zucchini or spinach, combined with lentils - I'm not standing at the sink, turning out ribbons to cook. They're high in protein and very filling. I'm pairing each one with a vegetable side; Italian green beans w/ rottini marinara, cauliflower w/ rottini Alfredo , and broccoli w/ mac 'n cheese penne. The trouble is my freezer is so small. I just don't room for another dinner, well, I would if the Honey would give up his blueberry waffles. But that's just not happening, and besides, it's not fair. The man eats oatmeal six days a week and this is his one true enjoyment. He has them with fruit yogurt instead of butter and syrup, and I think that's what helps to keep his blood sugar so well.
Food for us is like adoption; it takes two yeses. If he doesn't like it, I'll look for something else. The great thing about the potato salad and sausage though, is that I can keep one in the pantry and the other in the meat bin. I was hoping to find a ravioli that I could store in the fridge that was filled with squash, but those are also frozen. I worry about cutting myself so I'm not getting raw produce anymore; the last time I made perogis, I sliced into a finger and that was the end of that. So, I'm keeping my unwounded fingers crossed that he's okay with this.
Last week, I saw an Independent Lenses
documentary by Jennifer Brea. She has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and she made this in order to keep track of her own illness and that of others around the world. As of her film, there are 1 million cases in the US, 17 million worldwide. In Denmark, people are being stolen from their families and placed in psychiatric hospitals, by the government (!) simply because the doctors don't believe this isn't psychosomatic. It's an autoimmune disease, like diabetes, so instead of neurologists - whom I've been seeing - it should be an endocrinologist. But because of the diabetes, they won't see me, and the neurologists - all four of them - have been saying this is all in my head - sounds familiar. It was weird to watch these folks go hammer and tongs through their day, only to collapse moments later. It might not seem like the same, but there is so much that is similar.
Years ago, I was just like that. Going on and on, and then not being able to stay awake. I fell asleep in classes, and at work - all of which I'd forgotten, it'd been so long ago. I'd feel exhausted, I'd have trouble speaking - which is what Colette complained to me about, saying that my speech was "unhelpful". I can't remember the exact word she used but it is in that ballpark. I'm wondering if the tremor and balance issues are residuals from that. I only saw a tremor once in the film; a very young woman was helped to sit on the side of her bed. Her dad stayed by her side, and as he laid her back down, she shook. I mean, really shook, hard. It was the only tremor I saw in the whole 90 minutes. And as for noise, I also have trouble with that - though in my case, it increases my tremors; drumming, which is so popular now, makes me want to scream. It's virtually impossible to avoid it, and in the eyes of some, it's been taken as racist to excuse myself whenever the instruments are brought out. It's painful, but how do I explain it when most of the world won't believe it.
So, I figure, this could very well be what I've got. And since I'm not getting the care that I need from the specialists who should be seeing me and won't
, I'm self-diagnosing and I'm going with this.
Right now, I'm managing. I'm taking care of me and our home, my honey and our kitty, and of Girlfriend, without whom nothing would be physically possible. I have a cane and a rollator, and people who will help in a pinch. By the time I'm ready for Medicare, I'll be able to get my propers. But, until then...
The roads are very bad. Lots of accidents, power outages, so we're staying inside, hopeful that things improve for Michael's visit tomorrow. The TV's on behind me and that's all I hear - terrible slide-offs, trucks overturning, and head-ons
. We had spring temperatures yesterday, and now we're back at zero. We missed his last one due to the cold, but if it's bad, we're all better off if we don't see him.
Take care, my joons. Be safe.