Movies we can expect to see in a few years (re-post)

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Movies we can expect to see in a few years (re-post)

Postby Keith » Tue Apr 27, 2010 10:34 pm

(Re-posting some of my attempts at wit from RB That Was)

In 10, 25, 50 or 100 years time, what sort of movies will evolving social trends throw up? Well, thanks to my crystal ball, I can now reveal a few!

-The 14 Year Old Virgin: A young man is ridiculed by his friends (and the scriptwriters) for not having gotten laid yet at a ridiculously late age, because he preferred to spend time pursuing his hobbies rather than chasing girls. Eventually, he falls in love with a single mother his own age.

-Earth Wars: The Phantom Menace: A long time ago, in a faraway place where people live on planetary surfaces rather than in space habitats, a trade dispute escalates into a war.

-The Dan Brown Code: A middle-aged female professor and a good-looking young male cryptologist investigate a conspiracy that seeks to conceal a shocking truth: Jesus Christ was not a rabble-rouser turned family man, but a semi-divine messiah with supernatural powers!

-Walt Disney's The Ring of the Nibelung: Kiddified version (some things never change) of the old Norse/Germanic fairytale. An over-the-top villainous dwarf voiced by the computerized mind of Tim Curry and his wacky animal sidekick (the dwarf's wacky animal sidekick, not Tim Curry's wacky animal sidekick) create a ring with the power to rule the world, but are thwarted by buxom, spunky, dreamy heroine Brunnhilde and blue-eyed warrior Siegfried. Along the way they fall in love and learn many lessons about friendship, tolerance and the importance of being true to oneself. They don't, however, learn what 'be true to yourself' actually means.

-BloodRayne 42: Hyperspace Boogaloo: Horrendously awful videogame adaptation sequel, directed by clone Uwe Boll IV (remember how I said some things never change?).

-Die Hard 27: Aliens And Predators Terminate Rocky And Rambo: Action sequel, starring Bruce Willis VI, Sylvester Stallone V and Robo-Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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