And now a word from Aperture Laboratories...

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shireling
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And now a word from Aperture Laboratories...

Postby shireling » Tue Jun 09, 2015 6:05 pm

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Aperture Scientific Water Bottle: 24oz Dihydrogen Monoxide Containment Unit
WARNING: May cause diaphoresis, micturition, and acute tissue hydration.


Dear God, I hope so!
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TomCotton
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Re: And now a word from Aperture Laboratories...

Postby TomCotton » Wed Jun 10, 2015 12:07 pm

Thank you for helping in bringing the dangers of DHMO to light. That stuff needs to be contained. I am glad someone has come up with a specialized containtment system. The containment vessels I have been using are adequate, but some are in serious need of an upgrade.
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What are some of the dangers associated with DHMO?
Each year, Dihydrogen Monoxide is a known causative component in many thousands of deaths and is a major contributor to millions upon millions of dollars in damage to property and the environment.
Some of the known perils of Dihydrogen Monoxide are:

Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.

Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.

Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.

DHMO is a major component of acid rain.

Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.

Contributes to soil erosion.

Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.

Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.

Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.

Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.

Given to vicious dogs involved in recent deadly attacks.

Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas of the southeastern U.S.

Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect.
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Terrible stuff. :um:
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shireling
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Re: And now a word from Aperture Laboratories...

Postby shireling » Wed Jun 10, 2015 7:50 pm

But, my understanding is that DHMO can improve my marriage :/ - with regular ingestion...

I'm so confused!
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shireling
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Re: And now a word from Aperture Laboratories...

Postby shireling » Thu Jun 11, 2015 7:11 am

And then there's this: the washing of personal items, including bathing and showering with DHMO - along with the salt of a fatty acid (obtained by treating vegetable or animal oils and fats with a strongly alkaline solution) - can increase popularity!

It's also written, that using DHMO to rinse a paste made up of fluoride, antibacterial agents, desensitizing agents, anti-tarter agents, sodium bicarbonate (baking soda), enzymes, and xylitol - after a liberal application to the teeth by means of a specially-made brush - is not only healthful, but only adds to the appreciation of others!

How can this be, Tom, in light of all the dangers posed by your very extensive list?
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shireling
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Re: And now a word from Aperture Laboratories...

Postby shireling » Sat Jun 13, 2015 11:08 pm

Okay...joke over.
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